I have been thinking a lot lately about what constitutes a best friend. I have never felt like I have had one since I was a kid and back then the meaning of a best friend was different. A best friend from childhood typically lives in the same neighborhood and plays games with you. They don't necessarily have any attachment to you or you to them, just another kid to play with that you see the most. In middle school, my childhood best friend moved away and we went down completely different tracks in life and I could never find a replacement or someone that I thought was treating me like their best friend. I mean, sure, I had friends that I spent a lot of time with and we have lots of fun but most of those friends are girls and it is a lot different to have another guy to talk to then a bunch of girls. Since college has started I met a lot of great guys that I could see being my best friend but it seems we will only ever be just friends. In this sense it seems like I am searching for a relationship and just like I can't find that one girl I want to date, I can't seem to find that guy to call my best friend. Maybe I am looking in all the wrong places or maybe I am overlooking someone who considers me their best friend. It just seems like I try so hard and I give 100% to all my friends in some sort of hope to have that connection with that one person. A person I can tell everything to and they can tell me everything to. But really what am I looking for in a best friend... someone who texts me, invites me to events, is interested in my life, loves the same things, or even just simply wants to hang out? How about all of the above...
People never text me, granted I never really text people either and it is a little one-sided of me to expect them to text me and I never text them but if they text me often, I will know to text them more than never.
It always seems for events and that sort of matter I am usually never thought of and hear about all the fun things that people did without me the next day. The days that I am remembered, it is more along the lines of, "Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhh you can come to..... I guess." It almost seems as though I am the pity invite of groups everywhere. Last year I got to a point where there was a group but they have seemingly gone without me for awhile now.
For interested in my life, I mean I have plenty of friends who know the basic stuff about me and not much more. I want that one friend who wants to know everything about me and wants to share that bond of knowledge. I don't think there has been one friend in my life that knows more about me than anyone else. On the same sort of note, if we had a lot in common that would only add to the friendship. I have never been able to share all of my interests with one person and have something major in common.
The final part is hanging out. Not just some of the times that they hang out with people will they choose me. I want to be someone's number one choice. Right now it seems I am no one's choice but am simply an addition to who they really want to hang out with.
The weirdest thing about compiling all of this and writing it out made me realize this is also what I expect of a girlfriend, certain things excluded of course. Maybe I have too high of expectations. I just hope that I find someone (of the male gender) to call my best friend (already have the girls covered well over). I also wouldn't mind a girlfriend....
